Thursday, June 9, 2016

Unsure Home and What I've Learned

         It's been two years since I wrote anything here. But it's funny how I always come back to it when I am having a midlife crisis of some sort. As I get closer to 30, I realize that I am nowhere near figuring out myself or what God really wants to do with me. When I was in my teens and early twenties I was so sure by this time in my life I would have things figured out. I thought that I would know where I belonged, and where I was heading. Yet, this hasn't happened. I don't know where I exactly belong in this world. Partly because I don't truly belong in it (John 15:19), but honestly I just don't feel like anywhere is home. Some people call home a building, a spouse, children, parents, friends, community, room, etc. I... don't know right now. Other things that have ruined my idea of home has been a broken heart, broken friendships, and an uncertain future. All in my head, all part of my sinful nature. When will this phase end??? But these are the things I have learned so far in this phase:

  • Guard your heart -no one, and I mean no one, will ever love you the way Jesus does
  • Look at the person first, not their sin - it is easy to judge someone without truly understanding that their sin does not make them who they are; we are all fallen sinners redeemed and loved by our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ
  • It's okay to let go of what hurts you - God can handle what you can't, and sometimes you're not meant too
  • It's okay to cry, but you have to stop at some point - this is coming from someone who has just spent 4 months crying almost every day  
  • A broken heart is hard to overcome - if you think that having a relationship is so great, think again, especially when there's no true commitment behind it no matter how pretty the words told to you may sound
  • New beginnings are needed - yep, in order to keep moving, the old must go and the new must come in (new job, attitude, living, etc)
  • True friends are worth more than gold - as I've been trying to get through this rough patch in my life I have come to find out who truly are my friends, and how much they can be the string that keeps you going in dark days
  • Life is never what you think it should be - life has good things that will make you feel like you can fly, but also bad things that will make you feel like you will never get back up; that is why Jesus needs to be involved 
  • Don't trust your emotions, trust in the love of God - super hard one for me to live by, especially because I am an emotional person, but I will tell you that God's love has calmed me down more times than I can say
  • I know that God loves me because the Bible tells me so - sometimes you forget how much God loves you, and the only thing that can remind you is the Bible 



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